You've heard of the legendary GiantDad, initiate your Proper Bow gesture and prepare yo assholes for his girlfriend WideMum.
Soul Level and Points of Interest
With a huge 2211 HP and an enormous 728 attack rating with the Chaos Nuke surpassing even GiantDad's game-breaking Bass Cannon, WideMum sits at a comfortable SL99.
(I haven't yet tested the PvP viability of the build, but if anyone is willing to help a sunbro out in testing: they'd be more than welcome. I don't play PvP, you see, so I doubt I could release the full potential of this build - it wrecks in PvE nonetheless)
Stats, Recommendations, and Justifications
The stats you are to achieve are the following:
Key: Necessary, Recommended, Min/Maxing Alternative, and Unnecessary.
Similarly to the original GiantDad, this build is based mainly around SL99 but if you wish to expand to the more common SL120 you should level Vitality. Possibly even the ten levels in Strength to get that sweet one-hand on the main weapon and two more in Attunement for more pyro. I must also add that the starting class absolutely has to be Bandit with Master Key, this is so that the stats can be attained at the right level. You will notice that I left one level spare, this can be put into Dexterity for a better selection of applicable secondary weapons or just into Vitality.
The reason I say 40 Endurance is not necessary is that the equipment allows for mid-rolling at the 23 (with rings) - I do not recommend going as low as 23, but if you reckon you have the skill for min/maxing, put the omitted points in Vitality and 10 in strength. You can forget fast-rolling, as you need 86 Endurance including the rings to fast-roll. Attunement is interesting, because chosen Pyromancy literally atomises stamina, but this is not a necessary or standout trait of the build. If you are willing to sacrifice utility, you can minimise the two stats and have a spare 19 levels or so for spending.
And now, for the most important part:
To be held with two hands in the right hand slot
This is the 'Bass Cannon' of the build, a +5 Chaos Greataxe is what I have chosen. Like the Zweihander, this weapon has absolutely insane damage output (this has damage that is even higher). I prefer this weapon to the Zwei, because it has lower stamina consumption per swing and I found that the R1 swing speed is a little faster too. The range is lower, so do keep that in mind. Really good at +5 Chaos.
Unfortunately, and an admitted flaw of the build, it can only be obtained rather late into the playthrough as opposed to the actual start of it. If you get really lucky, the Berenike Knight (big lad with black armour) near the altar in the Undead Parish Church can drop a Greataxe. If that doesn't happen, the earliest you can grab one is in The Depths on a body surrounded by Small Rats. Alternatively, during your pursuit of the weapon, the Morning Star, Club/(reinforced), or the base weapon Battle Axe are good picks.
To be equipped in the left hand slot
A page from GiantDad's book, this shield is here for the stamina regeneration bonus and not for use as an actual means of self-protection. It can be easily picked up near the Black Knight in Darkroot Basin and is certainly rather useful. If you actually plan on blocking attacks, I wouldn't use this and would instead go for a 100% physical reduction shield in the second left hand slot, my favourite being the Silver Knight Shield. Overall, not a necessity, but - like Endurance - recommended.
The Mummy Mask:
To be equipped in the head slot
Here's why it's called Wide-MUM. We have the Mask of The Mother and it's very important to us. At 70 Vitality this boosts the base 1675 HP to a rather nice 1842 HP. Though the boost is a touch on the small side, it's far more than you'll get out of a few levels to Vitality. In case you were wondering why I spell Mum this way: I am British, it's how we roll.
Fat Dude Simulation:
To be equipped in every armour slot excusing the head piece
Here's why it's called WIDE-Mum. We have Smough's Set, which is a very nice set of armour. It boasts the highest defences in: Physical, Fire, Lightning, and Bleed out of any un-upgraded set. The Poise is certainly nothing to scoff at either, yielding a lovely 77 - lying just higher than the breakpoint for a two-handed Ultra-Greatsword. The kicker is that the set is only obtainable if the character defeats Dragonslayer Ornstein before Executioner Smough in the boss-fight. While there are some this may not sit well with, it is a necessity so please deal with it. Overall fantastic set; best worn with Very Large physique.
To be equipped where rings are equipped in the game
First of all, I'll address the Ring of Favour and Protection, it's amazing in that it boosts stamina, equip load, and HP by 20%. That's genuinely enormous -at 70 Vitality it brings the base HP of 1675 to a whopping 2010, and when in combination with the Mummy Mask the HP reaches the extraordinary 2211 mark. Pro Tip: kick Lautrec of Carim off his resting point in Firelink Shrine after the Bell Gargoyles, exit to main menu and re-enter to get the ring. Trust me, you'd better do it sooner than later.
Now onto Havel's Ring. Trust me, you will need this - the ring blesses you with a colossal 50% bonus to your equip load and without it you'd be fat-rolling. Badly. This baby can be obtained by vanquishing Havel The Rock in the basement beneath the Taurus Demon arena. It's always best to fight him at a later stage than when you first find him, because he is incredibly tanky with the Dragon Tooth club which will one-shot more often than it won't. Truly vital pieces of the build.
we now just need a use for the childs mask
Hmm seems interesting. The greataxe choice is questionable but the vitality investment should make up for it.
I'm sorry but what is this?